In the last couple weeks, our daughter has been coming home from daycare saying things like, "Sophie take the coat off."
She's been in a class with the same kids for over a year now and actually Sophie is one of her favorites- I think. Whenever you ask her, "Ready to go to school?" She looks up at you thoughtfully then responds excitedly, "Sophie! Cole!" Like she can't wait to see them. When I dropped her off, these same kids would actually drop what they are doing to run across the room- saying my daughters name with glee and giving her a huge hug. My daughter was never really receptive. She would brace herself and accept the hug but it wasn't necessarily returned. The next thing this other little girl would do is start trying to help my daughter off with her coat.
So when she started saying "Sophie take the coat off." I'm thinking she just doesn't want Sophie taking off her coat. Nothing new. Then recently it turned into- "Sophie take the rattle." "Sophie take the toy." Today, I had the luxury of going to her daycare and hanging out for a couple hours. While I was there the 6 two year olds in the room were relatively well behaved. Every now and then though, Sophie would walk up to my daughter and gently remove whatever she was playing with and walk away with it to play with it herself. My daughter would say, sadly, "Give it back." To be honest, there was no struggle. When the other girl tried to take it, my daughter easily relinquished it. It's like she didn't quite know how to say, "Not finished yet," or something to that effect. On the occasions I saw, the teachers were elsewhere. So I think to myself, "It Takes a Village," so I stepped in and said, "Sophie, that's not nice. We share with our friends and take turns. Give it back." If she didn't, I would gently take it and give it back to my kid.
So this evening my husband and I are anxiously trying to decide how to handle this. To be honest, I bet Sophie keeps doing this because they are buddies (as much as two year olds can be) and she wants to play with whatever my daughter is playing with.
So far we've considered the following: 1) Mention this to her teacher so she can keep a close eye on them and teach Sophie how not to bully and our daughter how to handle it. Or 2) Teach her how to tell her teacher that someone took her toy. Or 3) Teach her how to go up to the offender, take back the toy, and say "NOT your turn yet." That last one was my preference. Frankly, my little piggie is of a size that for now, I think she can hold her own. I know though that I should not be trying to teach her 2 year old hand-to-hand combat. Ahh, play ground turmoil-- already? Why can't we all just get along?
I would start with talking to the teacher and see what she does when she is around. The teachers at our daycare have the rule that one child can play with a toy as long as they want (though they usually bore with it quickly) and the other children have to wait their turn. I believe that they always have the child give the item back, but now that I think about it, I should verify what they do. Talk to them first. Chances are they have suggestions. They've been though this before.
ReplyDeleteDoh. That didn't post my entire comment!
ReplyDeleteI said something along the lines of:
ReplyDeleteOn one hand, you're lucky that she just lets it happen. My little one screams and screams and tears flow like the world is coming to an end and she can't find Bun-bun. It's heartbreaking.
On the other hand, though, I'm sure it's heartbreaking to watch her obviously try to make sense of it all. That's quite a smart little piggie you have there, if she is trying to apply what she learned from Sophie to other aspects of her life. Good or bad.