Laugh Factory

Millie has so many funny quotes these days I can't write them down fast enough.  Here is just a sample of magical thoughts and fun with words.

Most recently we've been playing music with Pandora. You can build a great station by putting in your favorite artists.  She often asks who's singing and her response just demonstrates what a magical world she lives in.

For example:
Answer:  Kenny Loggins.  Millie: Wow a log is singing that song?
Answer: Jewel.                 Millie:  Wow, a jewel is singing that song?
Answer: The Beatles         Millie: Wow, a group of insects sings that song?


Daddy:  Millie, sometimes things change based on different circumstances.
Millie:  Really?  Why would circus dances change it?  I can do all kinds of circus dances.  See!


Millie: Diego hidded the treasure.
Daddy:  Hid. Diego hid the treasure.
Millie: Yes. Diego hid the treasure. He is very good at hidding.

The Great Debater

Millie has a lot to say... all the time.

Funny enough, I remember when she was an infant, I actually considered getting her hearing checked because so many babies her age were babbling and cooing all the time but she wasn't.  She was happy. She grinned and lit up if you talked to her but no response.

I had a friend who said, "Don't worry. Be grateful. When she starts, you probably won't ever have quiet again."  She was right.  Millie keeps a running commentary going constantly.

Millie:  Good morning Joy! I missed you so much! I love you so much! Did you have nice dreams Pocahontas yelled happily as she wan down the hall (yes she narrates her narration).

Yesterday I tried to get her to walk quietly past the babie's room while the baby napped.  On and on she kept talking.  "Shhhhh!" I kept saying, "The baby is sleeping."  On and on she went, "That's wight. We should be vewy quiet. Joy is sleeping. When will she wake up? I want huh to play wif me. When is she going to wake up..."

Finally,

Mommy:  Millie.  Can you stop talking for just one minute please.
Millie:  No.  God wants to hear what I have to say.

Well how do your respond to that?  We're not particularly religious and Millie has been to church maybe 3 times so I don't know where she came up with such an idea.  But at the time, I thought it was such a deep thought that I couldn't argue with that.  Later, I thought I could have told her that sometimes you need to be quiet to hear what God wants to say to you... but I didn't think of that then. She sure keeps me on my toes.

Lessons from Elmo

Millie doesn't watch Sesame Street.  She gets bored with it after 15 minutes.  Yesterday, however, we went to a Sesame Street Live show and she LOVED it. The songs, the lights, the talking vegetables.  She laughed and clapped. At bedtime she said, "Mommy! Did you see the talking cheese!" and laughed again until she ran out of breath.  Here I thought that most of these things were targeted to older kids who could remember it. I only bought the tickets because someone else was going with their 3 year old.   Somehow I had bought into the notion that unless the child will remember the event as an adult it isn't worth doing. My earliest memory is at age 4.  Millie is 3 1/2 years old.  The truth is actually that many of these things are most enjoyed by the 3-7 year olds.

We had a child entertainer come to her 3 year old birthday party.  When I booked him, he asked how old the kids would be.  I said, three years old.  He said, "Good.  By  6 years old they're already too sophisticated for my kind of goofy humor."  It was low tech, very silly and he had them in hysterics for 45 minutes straight. Every single kid.

I thought we were bringing Millie to the show to learn about healthy habits in a fun way.  I guess I also learned a lesson too-- Don't wait.  Go have fun with your kids today.  They'll love it now while they are young enough to dance and jump around with giant puppets.  You will have a blast too and maybe, just maybe, you'll both be left with a lifelong wonderful memory.  You never know.

Sound advice

On the way to school, Millie and her dad were listening to Raffi singing This Little Light of Mine I'm gonna let it shine.
Millie: He needs to turn da lights off!

Daddy: Why?

Milli: Because he'll run out of badderies!

Evolution of a Joke

When Millie was just beginning to talk more, somewhere between 18months and 2 years, her father would joke around with her and say, in his best Darth Vader impersonation voice, "Luke, I am your father." She would repeat it over and over because it always got a laugh. It seems like it's been over a year though since the joke was in circulation. Last week at the dinner table though it resurfaced with a Millie twist:

Daddy (in Darth Vader voice): Luke, I am your father.
Millie (in baby Vader voice): I want some milk... I am your daug-tuh.

Introducing Joy

So two weeks ago we welcomed our second precious little girl into the world: Joy. Millie is in love. I had been a little worried because Millie is an energetic little one and she consumes 350% of the attention and energies of both her mommy and daddy. We were worried about how she would adjust to sharing her spotlight. So far so good though. Truly it was love at first sight.

We had our daughter 8:20pm via c-section. This was the first night ever that Millie had been away from both parents. Both grandmothers were with her at our home. The next morning I was still feeling pretty rough around all the edges but the medical team advised that I get up and into a chair. We decided that we would have Millie visit for one hour that afternoon. The nurse technician asked me, "How old is your daughter?" "Three," I answered. She said, "OK, we need to make sure you don't have too many visible tubes hanging off of you." She put the chair in the corner of the room and the IV pole behind the chair. She got permission to remove the foley catheter. I took a fresh dose of pain medicine and after half an hour of getting presentable, I finally landed in the chair and waited for Millie and the grandparents to arrive. We were advised that the baby should be in the bassinet and not in mommy’s arms so as not to provoke immediate jealousy.

Millie entered the room and came right over to me, “Hi Mommy! Hi Baby Sister!” she said to my tummy as she had been doing for the last several months. “Hey Baby Sister,” she said, ready to launch into her conversation. I interrupted- “Millie. Baby sister is not in mommy’s tummy anymore. She’s out now. She’s over there,” I said, pointing to the plastic hospital bassinet on the other side of the room. Millie sloooowly turned to see where I was pointing- then froze. Then her eyes got huge and then in a reverent, awestruck shuddering, voice she whispered “Ohh- ohhhh-ohhh!” while skipping, hopping and dancing with excitement. She put her hands on her cheeks. Her body couldn’t contain the excitement. Finally, she ran over to the bassinet and climbed on the couch next to it. She stood on the couch peering over into the bassinet and said, “Ohhhh! I love huh (her)! She’s so cute! I’m going to sing her a song…” Then Millie serenaded little Joy with Rockabye baby. Then she said, “I want to sing her another song.” She then sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

It’s been a love story ever since. Granted—it’s only been two weeks but so far so good. Every morning, Millie whispers to Joy, “I love you baby sister,” and tries to hug her. She says, “I love her little toes. I love her little eyes. I love her little cheeks.”

Two nights ago she came over to smother her with kisses and hugs and out of the blue she whispered to Joy, “I’ll always be by your side.” Neither her father nor I know where she picked up that phrase—it’s not anything we’ve ever said to her and it’s not in any songs we play. As far as we can tell, Millie, on her own, was just moved to say it. I pray that it’s true- that the two sisters will always be loving and there for each other. All I know is that, so far, Millie as a big sister is more breathtaking than ever.

He's Got the Whole World...

Millie's grandparents are visiting. Millie's grandmother was reading her the bedtime stories. After stories, usually Millie's dad will start the lay down routine. He was waiting in the wings in our room listening for the end of story time and the brushing of teeth.

While he was waiting he decided to try out a new speaker docking station that he had just purchased to see how it did playing the music off his cell phone. Millie's grandmother was bringing Millie to the bathroom to brush teeth.

Following the music, she ran past the bathroom and poked her head into our room, tentatively. She looked over at her father with a questioning look, not sure if she would get into trouble for delaying the brushing of teeth or not. Daddy, waved her in though and she happily scooted over to him. "Can I sit on your lap?" He said she could. Then the song changed to Raffi's "He's got the whole world in his hands".

By the end of the song, she started clapping to the tune and rocking along with daddy. When it was over Daddy turned off the music. She turned to him and hugged him and said, "You are the most favorite grown-up I've ever seen." "I love you too, Millie." he replied. Then off they went happily to brush teeth and settle down for the night.

Early Father's Day Gifts

Daddy hadn't shaved yet and as they sat close together, Millie was examining daddy's beard.

Daddy: I know, I need to shave.
Millie: How will you do it?
Daddy: With a razor and shaving cream.
Millie: Daddy, (touching his face) your beard is excellent. Your cheek is excellent. Your chin looks excellent. You look excellent.
Millie (after another thoughtful pause): When I get bigger, I'll marry someone I love.

What better gift is there, than to know that you are adored, scruffy edges and all?

Sibling Comfort

This morning Millie was employing her most effective and frustrating strategy to delay getting the day started. She actually was all dressed but was stalling on coming down the stairs to get breakfast. Toddlers don't care that you need to leave the house at a certain time. They are blissfully and frustratingly unaware of the fact that the rest of the world is trying to run on a schedule.

At any rate, we are trying to employ a "Love and Logic" tool for behavior management. This is supposed to reduce stress because you 1) give the kid a choice, 2) calmly inform the child of the consequences, and if they don't comply with the choice they made, then you 3) empathize with them and 4) calmly inform them of the consequence. So this morning Millie agreed to come down the stairs after a certain time was up- let's say 2 minutes. After her two minutes were up she continued to stall. I bent the rules a little and warned her that she was about to lose her morning treat (I was supposed to just deliver the consequence immediately). Then I bent the rule further and even gave her a count of 3 to get to the stairs (all stated in a calm voice). When she ignored all the second chances I told her, "Uh-oh. It's so sad. You've lost your morning treat."

She lost it. She was so upset. I tried to hug her and say things like, "I know. It's so hard sometimes. It's so sad." She just snapped at me, "Don't touch me!" Then she would lean towards me or follow me if I tried to give her a little space- sobbing the whole time. She gets so mixed up and conflicted when she's upset. My husband tried to give her hugs and she shoved him away. So I thought to myself, if she is too upset with me and her father to be consoled- maybe she can vent to her baby sister.

She has conversations with her baby sister now several times a day. I have to speak for Baby Sister but that doesn't seem to bother Millie. She'll say, "Baby sister? Baby Sister?" I'll say, "Yes, Big Sister." She'll say, "Do you know how to crawl yet?" I'll say, "No. I don't know what that is." And she'll say, "I'll show you. You get down like dis and crawl around like dis." Then I'll say, "Thank you for showing me Big Sister. You're so smart."

So this morning, I said, "Why don't you tell baby sister what happened?" She approached me slowly, lifted my shirt up and leaned her head against my pregnant tummy, cheek to belly, and said, "Baby Sister?" "Yes Big Sister?" I replied. "Baby Sister, Mommy took away my morning treat!" said Millie. "Really?? Why?" said Baby Sister in shock. "Because I did not come downstairs when I was supposed to. And mommy counted to 3 and I did not come," explained Millie. "Oh I'm so sorry Big Sister. That is sad," said Baby Sister. Then Millie just sat there quietly leaning and cuddling with my tummy for a few minutes until she settled down.

I love the thought of the two sisters comforting each other already.

So generous

The conversation with my belly this evening went like this:

Millie: Hi Baby. When you come out will you nurse? I will be impressed if you do. I will let you have mommy for a whoooole week.

Really? A whole week? Hm- at some point we may have to tell her that the baby will probably be more than just a visitor.

Future Looks Bright

So we are expecting a little sibling for Millie. I am 24 weeks and clearly showing. We weren't sure when to tell Millie, but clever Millie figured it all out on her own about 2 weeks ago. A friend sent us a toddler books on having a new baby come to your house. One of them has pictures of real families. We started casually reading it every now and then along with her other stories. One day as she sat on her own, flipping through her books, she looked at the picture of the pregnant mommy, then she looked at me, then back to the pregnant mommy, then back to me... then she walked up to me and said, "Who's in there mommy?" pointing to my tummy. I looked up and said, "There's a baby in there." She didn't say anything, nodded thoughtfully, then went off to play with some other toy.

Each day though she is clearly more excited about it. In the book, one of the little children talks to the mother's belly and says, "Are you warm in there? Would you like some Cornflakes?" So last week she started coming up to me and saying to my belly, "Are you warm in there? Would you like some Cornflakes?"

This morning while getting her dressed she had a whole conversation all her own. She played both parts: "Hi baby." "Hi big sister" "Baby I can't wait to meet you." "Me too."

I may be a little hormonal, but that's enough to melt your heart.

Perspective

After what seems has been the snowiest winter in memory, our little corner of the world is starting to thaw out. And El Nino this week has started to bring rain rather than 3 feet of snow (whew!).

Still, I miss the sun. I am definitely a Spring and Summer fan. Particularly late Spring with it's warm, but not too hot, breezy, beautiful, blooming days.

This morning over breakfast we talked about the weather.

Daddy: Looks like it's going to be a rainy day.
Mommy: Maybe it won't rain until later or not at all (hoping for some sun and a chance for Millie to run around outside at daycare. Then I wondered what Millie was thinking...) Millie, do you want it to be rainy or sunny today?
Millie: (thinks quietly for a moment) Rainy.
Mommy: Really (perplexed)? Why?
Millie: Cause it will make the flowers grow.

Beautiful. Yet another example of how we could all occasionally use the fresh view point of a toddler. Today the rain didn't seem as gloomy as long as I could hear her little voice chirping "'Cause it makes the flowers grow." Thanks Millie.

Runaway Train

We went shopping for a new mattress-- my neck/back has started aching and my husband's back has been a mess for 6 months and it occurred to him that the last time we both were walking around like pretzels at the same time, we got a new mattress and it all got a lot better. So anyway, We went to the mattress store. It was not busy and there were maybe 3 other customers in the whole store while we were there. We took turns watching Millie while the other one of us would try a mattress. At some point Millie and daddy were somewhere while I was in another part of the store talking about mattresses with the salesman. Daddy told me about this exchange after we had left the store...

Two of the other people in the store were two African-American women who looked like they were in their late 30s/early 40s. One was helping the other pick a mattress. At some point Millie ran past them and stopped and looked at one:

Millie: You have big lips.

I know! Collective gasp of horror, right? At this point, I should point out, just in case you don't know me personally, that yours truly is also African-American. Her father is Caucasian. Now, back to our runaway train...

Woman: (Decides to ignore her and says nothing).
Millie: (getting closer) You have big lips.
Woman: (Trying to ignore her, says nothing).
Millie: (Wondering if she maybe needs to clarify) DO you have big lips?
Daddy: (Watching in silent slow-motion-train-wreck horror-- wracks his brain to figure out if there is ANYTHING a white guy could say right now that would be ok.)
Woman: (Finally realizing that Millie will NOT be ignored, answers.) Yes. I do.

Millie thinks for a moment in silence, then says...

Millie: They are BEE-YOO-TIFUL!

Immense collective sigh of relief SWEEPS though the showroom.

Woman: Thank you.
Woman's friend laughs a huge laugh of relief as well and everyone smiles and moves on.

Hm, looks like it's time for Mommy and Daddy to come up with the right way to reign in Millie's social chatter in public.

_____________________________________________________

That was the original end of the story. After discussing the incident with friends all this raises a few parental hurdles worth working out:

1) How DOES one go about teaching a very vocal 3 year old when it's ok to comment and when she should reign it in. Subtlety is a little lost on Millie. Yesterday at the mall she rode on one of the coin operated machines. When she was done another girl got on. She ran up to her waving enthusiastically and said, "BYE!! HAVE FUN!!!" and the other little girl, who looked about 5 yrs old just stared (maybe even cowered) and said nothing. Millie turned to me and said, "I said bye and she didn't say anything." I told her, "It's ok. She's just a little shy that's all." Millie said to me, a little perplexed, "Why is she shy?" She just has no idea that the world is not always ready for her level of intense interaction. In her mind, why in the world would anyone be shy?

2) How does one go about teaching your kids specifically about race. This encounter generated a great discussion for Millie's dad and I. In general, it seems that imagining in advance how you might handle such a statement, can prepare you to perhaps avoid a very painful encounter. Hashing out the pros and cons of different strategies is helpful. We were lucky that Millie ended the encounter the way she did-- but we may not always be so lucky. A friend actually shared a similar episode that did not end so well and the Internet conversation that it generated. Please see the comments for further detail. It's worth thinking about and talking about it. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Butterfly

I am an introvert and so is Millie's dad. So it's a real walk on the wild side whenever we leave the house with Millie. Somehow, despite her parents, she is an extrovert, a real social butterfly. This is what it was like for me to take her out on Friday:

Stop 1- The Public Library for story time.
Millie walked into the story time room and past all the kids and parents sitting obediently on the carpet in front of the librarian and over to the stack of folding chairs in the corner.
Millie: C'mon mom. Let's get one of the chairs.(I should mention that NONE of this is at whisper volume).
Mommy: No, Millie. Let's leave those alone and sit with the other kids on the carpet.
Millie: No, I want one of the chairs.
Mommy: Millie, you can stay if you sit on the carpet or we can go to the other room (the main library kids section).
Millie: (quietly weighing the options).
Mommy: Do you want to try sitting on my lap?
Millie: Yes.
So we sit for all of 2 minutes then she decides this story time thing is too slow.
Millie: Let's go to the other room Mommy.
Mommy: OK- let's go. (I start walking towards the door. At the door I turn around to find Millie talking to one of the other little girls in the middle of the room.)
Millie: Hey! We're going to the other room- WANNA COME? It's FUN!
Mommy: (Running back and trying to avoid all the awkward glances from the other parents. Like, "Would you please come collect your child?") C'mon Millie- she wants to stay here. Let's go. (I grab her hand and we go.)

In the other room is a computer table with two kiddie sized computers. There is a little boy sitting at one. She strides up to him:
Millie: What are you doing?
Boy: I'm on the compuder.
Millie: You're doing a GOOD job. You're a GOOD boy!
Boy: You can sit here (pointing at the other chair) and I will sit here and we can do compuder.
Millie: OK!

Then they both became absorbed and engaged in trying to figure out how to use a mouse and engage with the toddler games on the screen. When it was time to go, I told Millie we had to check out all the books we had chosen. She was running around but I just couldn't see where she was. So I finally picked her up and put her on the counter while I checked out. She was ok for 2 minutes but then said, "C'mon mom. I don't wan to be here ALL DAY." Excuuuse me, yeesh, these pint-sized dictators. I told her we needed to be patient- which she was for the last minute until we were done.

Stop 2- The Grocery Store.
At the grocery store she actually sat in the cart but she chatted with the lady offering free bread samples. She got two slices and then kept talking about how she ate two loaves of bread in the store. Then in the canned goods aisle she commented loudly,
Millie: Woah- look at that guy on the LADDER. What's he DOing?
Mommy: He's putting things on the shelf.
Millie: Wow, he's working hard! (Waving to the guy) Hi!! (The guy does not wave back) He's too BUSY working HARD Mommy.
Mommy: Yes, he is. Well we're all done here. Let's leave him alone so he can work.
Millie: OK.
Before we left she explained a few of the things in our cart to the guy behind us at the checkout line. Then told him to have a nice day.

Stop 3-- The Discount Home Goods store next to the Grocery store.
Mommy: Millie you were so good at the grocery store, you can have a prize now.
Millie: A book!
Mommy: Yes, a book- any one you want (the books at this store are all under $5).
Millie: (Striding into the store) Wow. I just LOVE books!
Mommy: Yes, me too.
I started wondering if this store had a toy section that might give her incentive for potty training. We're struggling with that one a bit. She found a princess toy set with a Cinderella, a horse, and a carriage all for under $10 bucks total. I figured I'd give her each piece separately for each potty training achievement. She was so excited carrying it to the counter. At checkout she was talking with the guy behind us in line...
Millie: I got a princess and a horse and a ca-wiage.
Guy: Really? That's good.
Millie: The horse is FUN! It says NEIGH and it goes gallop-a-trot gallop-a-trot (galloping to demonstrate).
Cashier: She's a happy little thing isn't she?
Mommy: Yes, she is. Lot's of energy. OK Millie, Let's go.
Millie: (To all her fans at the cash register) BYE (with a great big wave)!

All I'm saying is, if it weren't for Millie, I would have gone to the library, the grocery store, and the discount dollar store and completed my transactions without having met all these characters. Not Millie-- she's here to take it all on and bring everyone along for the ride. ("C'MON IT'S FUN!")I honestly feel like she's on a great adventure and it is our great privilege to be selected for a front row seat.

Morning conversation

Millie was fascinated watching Daddy get ready for work this morning. This was my favorite part.

Millie: Daddy, Was dat?
Daddy: That's my razor.
Millie: What does it raise?

Holiday Highlights: Part 1- Halloween

It's been a while and so many fun holidays have passed. I've not blogged in a while, so in order to catch up I've decided to share some of the highlights that stand out in my memory. So forgive the flashback but here, for your reading pleasure, is installment 1.

Halloween:
Millie was a bumble bee. She said she wanted to be a witch or a ghost for weeks but then we got to the costume/party store and the clerk pointed out a cute little bumblebee outfit and that was IT. Once that black and yellow tutu was on and she had her antennae firmly in place- it wasn't coming off. She was mesmerized. She gazed at herself in the mirror and was dazzled into a moment of silence... Then she was off- buzzing around the store. Can you tell by the picture how awestruck she is? This is a picture I took in the dressing room. I took the picture because I just had never seen that hypnotized gaze on her before. The blur is the bumble-bee wand she's waving around.



Mommy: Ok, Millie. Time to take it off so we can buy it and take it home.
Millie: Noooooo!
Mommy: C'mon- you can keep it if you take it off. We just have to pay for it.
Millie: Nooooooooo!

I was a bit tired that day and just not ready to pin her down and fight to get it off... so I called her father.

Mommy: Hey we're at the store trying on costumes and she's in love with the bumble bee one.
Daddy: Really? I'd love to see it. I'm on my way home already but I won't be there for 20 minutes.
Mommy: That's ok. She won't let me take it off so we're not going anywhere anytime soon.

And so we hung out until daddy got there. Between her father and myself, we finally were able to convince her to take it off... but not without a few tears.

Millie: (sob) Mommy wants to take my dress away from me. It's so pretteeee.
Daddy: (On the way home) Maybe we ought to get her a couple dresses.
Mommy: Y'think?

Trick or Treating was fun. We went to a house of some friends who have a 12 yr old son who was excited about showing Millie the ropes.

Friend: First we'll go down street A, then we'll turn up street B because there are lots of houses on that street then we'll cut down street C and back around to our house.
Mommy and daddy: Uh..... Millie may not make it to the end of your block but we'll see.

She liked getting candy but she did not like spooky decorations hanging from garage doors or fog machines. Still too much for her imagination. One of the houses had music playing out front and all kinds of major scenes played out on their lawn. She did not like it though-- from now on "Hot Hot Hot" will always be known as the song of "The steamy scary house".

She also didn't quite understand why we were ringing doorbells and not going into people's homes. Nearly every home she went to she strolled into their living room or foyer after the door was opened. She met some dogs and someone's pet gecko in their living room. The gecko was cool. One neighbor asked her if she stung people. She said, "No. I just buzz." After the 4th house, she took a seat on their couch.

Mommy and Daddy: Millie do you want to go home to your house now?
Millie: Yes. (Then, later, in the car on the way home) Can I go home to my hive now? The bumble bee is ti-ud.